


Spill the Beans by Martin Brundle

by ILLEGAILE



Series: F1 Direction [2]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Bromance, Crack?, F1 Karaoke, Friendship, Funny, Humor, It's not AU, M/M, bros being bros, god i'm bad at this, idek how to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-22
Updated: 2016-03-22
Packaged: 2018-05-28 09:32:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6324040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ILLEGAILE/pseuds/ILLEGAILE
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The name of the game is SPILL THE BEANS. And Martin is hosting a couple of Formula One Drivers to spill their secrets.</p><p>[Set right after "Can't Feel My Face"]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spill the Beans by Martin Brundle

**Author's Note:**

> Don't read this without reading "Can't Feel My Face" because it won't make any sense.

_[Intro Music]_

_[Close up on Martin Brundle sitting next to Sebastian Vettel, Lewis Hamilton, Daniel Ricciardo, Jenson Button, Nico Hulkenberg, and Felipe Massa.]_

 

Martin: Alright, so we’re here because the fan forum got so popular they decided to make up this game show.

Sebastian: * _Laughs_ *

Martin: We’re doing this- press conference style, then? Yes? These gentlemen beside me, who you all know, will tell me a fact about the drivers and I’ll guess which driver it is.

Jenson: Good luck, mate.

Martin: Yeah, or I’ll end up pissing someone off, I’m sure. * _Laughs_ * Okay.

Daniel: Oh, we get to choose? * _Claps Hands_ *

Lewis: Oh God. * _Shakes his head_ *

Jenson: * _Chuckles_ *

Martin: Have mercy on me. * _Laughs_ *

Sebastian: We should do impressions some time. I hear that kind of thing is popular now.

Martin: Let’s survive this first.

Sebastian: We won’t forget, though! It will happen.

Martin: Do we have a fact yet, then?

 

Felipe: **Who has the most chest hair?**

Drivers: * _Cackles_ *

Martin: Oh God. It’s not Lewis-

Lewis: What do you mean it’s not me? I could have chest hair. * _Smiles_ *

Martin: You have tattoos and you posted that thing on your snapchat.

Daniel: Ohhh, that picture! Wow.

Jenson: Very dishy. * _Winks_ *

Nico H: * _Whispers_ * Careful or you’ll have a face full of Nico’s fist.

Drivers: * _Giggles_ *

Martin: How do you even know this? Who has the most chest hair?

Felipe: If you’re not answering then we’re not telling!

Sebastian: Yeah, you know… bros before hosts so-

Drivers: * _Laughs_ *

Martin: * _Laughs_ * Alright, alright. What’s the next one?

 

Lewis: Who does awesome impressions?

Nico H: * _Nods_ * Ah, yes.

Sebastian: Guy or girl?

Jenson: Guy, there are fewer girls so it would be easier to guess.

Lewis: **Who does an awesome impression of _Sting_?**

Martin: Sting? Well, he’d have to be one of the Brits? It might not be Lewis or Jenson because well you guys said you can’t sing.

Jenson: Lewis can rap.

Lewis: But obviously, between Nico and I, when stuck in a karaoke bar you pick Nico. * _Shrugs_ *

Martin: Is he any good?

Drivers: * _Boisterous Laughter_ *

Nico H: Oh, very good.

Daniel: You should see him. His singing is in _toxic_ ating!

Drivers: * _Falls Over_ *

Martin: * _Confused_ * So, it’s uhhh- Who else is British? God. Well, if it’s not a Brit then maybe Romain? Is it him?

Nico H: I’d say he’s more American than some Americans.

Jenson: Yeah, it’s not Romain. You’re right about him being British though!

Lewis: Oh yeah, he _is_ British, isn’t he?

Martin: So, it’s, um- all I’ve got is you two so…

Daniel: It’s Jolyon, actually. Killer at impressions, those Renault drivers.

Martin: Really?

Sebastian: Oh yeah, Carmen does a really good Celine Dion.

 

Daniel: OH! Oh, I’ve got one. **Who is the best at hair styling?**

Jenson: * _Doubles Over Laughing_ *

Martin: I’m not stupid. That’s Nico, right? It _has_ to be!

Lewis: Nico’s hair is just… like that, actually.

Martin: No way.

Lewis: Yeah, he just flips it back and it’s exactly like that. It’s the weirdest thing.

Jenson: Of course, you would know.

Lewis: Shut up. * _Shoves Him Playfully_ *

Martin: So, I’m wrong?

Lewis: Nah, it’s actually Jenson. * _Jabs a finger at Jenson_ *

Nico H: He did mine once, it was awesome.

Martin: That’s a useful piece of information. If you’ve got a hair problem-

Daniel: Bet on the Button. * _Winks_ *

Drivers: * _Giggles_ *

Martin: Keep it clean, we’ve got time for one more so I obviously have to get this one right because I haven’t gotten a single one right.

Drivers: * _High fives_ *

Jenson: Let’s do the secret weapon!

Felipe: Now?

Lewis: Thought we were saving that one. * _Grins_ *

Nico H: Perfect time to say.

Daniel: Am I the only one afraid of what he’d say?

Sebastian: * _Ping!_ * Just texted him, he says he doesn’t care.

Lewis: * _Rolls Eyes_ * Typical.

 

Jenson: We’re ready. * _Rubs Hands Together_ *

Martin: Should I be scared? * _Laughs_ *

Jenson: **Who-** * _Looks at the other Drivers dramatically_ * **is the highest point scorer when we sing karaoke together?**

Martin: You guys have karaoke nights? * _Laughs_ * Do I get a hint?

Lewis: Oh, this is not the sort of thing anyone would see coming.

Martin: Okay, okay. Someone I wouldn’t expect. I would say Sebastian but since I wouldn’t see it coming-

Sebastian: * _Shakes Head_ * It’s not me. Why do people always think it’s me? I’m actually an average singer.

Martin: Okay, um. Is he here today?

Jenson: No _p_ e.

Martin: It's not Nico, is it? You said he was good.

Lewis: He's second, actually.

Martin: Really? Is it Fernando?

Jenson: Oh God, no. Wrong Direction.

Drivers: * _Laughs_ *

Martin: I don’t get it.

Nico H: They sang a One Direction song last time we did karaoke.

Martin: Oh.

Jenson: Too Spanish for the British songs. * _Smiles_ *

Martin: Well, that narrows it down to a few. It’s not Sergio because we heard him singing some Shakira song and it was-

Nico H: * _Laughing_ * Don’t go there.

Martin: Is it Kevin?!

Jenson: We actually haven’t heard Kevin sing?

Lewis: He’s alright.

Jenson: How do you know?

Lewis: He was singing along to Toxic last time.

Daniel: And you noticed that? Handcuffed to a chair?

Martin: * _Laughs incredulously at the mention of Handcuffs_ * Oh, this I want to hear.

Lewis: Buy us all ten rounds and we’ll talk. * _Laughs_ *

Martin: Well, clearly. I lose. Who is it? It’s Esteban, isn’t it?

Jenson: Actually, it’s Kimi.

Drivers: * _Knowing smiles_ *

Martin: _Seriously_? As in, Raikkonen?

Lewis: Oh yeah, he’s been the pole sitter since we started doing karaoke. We’re still surprised.

Daniel: He’s sort of scary good, in a way. I think Valterri is smitten and is trying to learn his ways.  * _Snickers_ *

Martin: He’s that good?

Felipe: _Very_ good.

Lewis: He could start a band for retired drivers.

Daniel: **_F1 Direction_**.

Drivers: * _Giggles_ *

Martin: * _Stares at Them_ *

Jenson: You won’t get it until you’ve heard it. * _Pats him on the back_ *

Martin: I’ll need to hear it now. You’ve piqued my interest.

Sebastian: * _Chuckles_ * He won’t like that.

Martin: That’s all the time we have for now. Have a good week and we’ll see you all in Bahrain for the next race.

Drivers: * _Waves Goodbye_ *


End file.
